Book Review - Becoming Fearless

I'm looking forward to Women of Faith in St. Paul, MN in October where I'll get to hear Michelle Aguilar speak. I just finished reading her book that's due out this weekend.

Becoming Fearless: My Ongoing Journey of Learning to Trust God

Michelle Aguilar is the winner of season six of The Biggest Loser. Now she’s documented what she discovered in her journey to losing over 100 pounds. Michelle grew up in a Christian home and her family served in ministry, but shortly after she graduated from high school her parents separated and her reality conflicted with everything she’d been taught. She learned to stuff her feelings by stuffing her face, and soon, she lost herself in the shuffle.

Through the help of Jillian and the team at Biggest Loser, Michelle went from fear to fearless, eventually becoming a Women of Faith speaker and a voice for the I Am Second movement. I enjoyed her story very much and I could see some of myself in her.

Readers should not expect this to be a how-to book. This is a memoir. It’s Michelle’s story. Many readers will see themselves in her story, but it’s still a memoir. I found the book enjoyable, and through reading Michelle’s story, I think others will be inspired to face their fears too. It’s also an encouragement for those who feel like they have lost their faith, or they are disillusioned by what they think God expects of them.

I had an advance reader copy, so I haven’t seen the photo section that will be in the middle, but I think readers will enjoy having the photos. 

Disclosure: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from Amazon for review purposes.

Muted Monday - Photo of the Week

Happy Birthday to My Boys

Nineteen years ago today, I became a mother. Seventeen years ago, I became a mother again. Having two boys born on the same day has been a fun adventure. They are best friends and they get along so well. Even as teenagers, they've been fun to raise. 

I know, that doesn't even sound normal for me to say. But raising teenagers isn't always as awful as it's cracked up to be. Every so often, you'll meet someone who says their teenagers are a delight. I'm one of them. Please don't hate me. I didn't do anything to deserve these sweet boys. I know that God gave them to me and he showed me much grace when they became teenagers.

Perhaps God's blessing reflects my own lack of patience. Sometimes I wonder if he said, "That gal has a lively temper and a low tolerance level. Give her two boys who will help her manage her weaknesses." Or maybe he said, "Her husband has his hands full already with her. Let's give him two boys as a reward."

 Of course, they aren't perfect by any means. They like to pick on their dear old mom. And sometimes, they butt heads with me. Sometimes they lick their plates when I'm not looking. And sometimes they leave their bathroom looking like a truck stop restroom for my piano student moms to use. Most of the time, their rooms are carpeted with dirty laundry (not sure why we actually put carpet down if they walk on their clothes anyway).

However God worked it out, I'm thankful for them. To all the moms who are struggling to get through the teen years, I'm praying that God give you all the strength and patience that I lack. I give you more credit than you can imagine for being such great moms!

Thanks for letting me have my little moment to celebrate my boys' birthday today.

Muted Monday - Photo of the Week

'Tis the season...

Why I Don't Ask Pat Robertson for Marriage Advice

This week, TV preacher and 700 Club host Pat Robertson got himself into a bit of hot water over some comments he made about divorce on his show. See the story at CBS News. 

Robertson was giving advice to a viewer whose friend was seeing another woman while his wife suffered from Alzheimer's. Imagine how my jaw dropped when I heard that Robertson essentially condoned the actions of the husband by suggesting that he should divorce her and go ahead and date another woman. 

Photo from CBN.com

His logic to write off the "til death do us part" marriage vow? Alzheimer's is a kind of death.

Really.

So if someone says their marriage essentially died because the other partner was no longer who they once were, it's okay to divorce and start over? This is rationalizing at its greatest.

Alzheimer's is a sickness. Nearly 22 years ago, I promised to marry my husband in sickness and in health. Even if he has to be cared for in a nursing home. Even if he is incapacitated. Even if he becomes mentally ill, paralyzed, or terminally ill. Marriage is marriage. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that Alzheimer's and other conditions are extremely stressful for the caregiver. And marriages are strained by unforeseen events. But that's part of taking the vow. Too many young people don't look down the road and see what could happen. Too many marriages end because one or the other partner didn't anticipate real life. 

It isn't easy. But "in sickness and in health", "forsaking all others", "til death do us part" mean something. Death is death. As in no longer breathing. If you find an Alzheimer's clause in your Bible, I want to see it. Robertson opens the door for all kinds of wishy-washy interpretation of scripture with his statements. 

In his estimation, adultery must not mean adultery either. And on his slippery slope, murder won't mean murder, and stealing won't mean stealing. Not so long as we can come up with a clever way to justify them.

In the meantime, that's why I don't take marriage advice from Pat Robertson. I don't advise that you do either.

Celebrate the Little Things - It Brings Great Happiness

Sometimes, little things make me immensely happy. The other day, when I was freezing corn from the garden, I started cutting the kernels off the cobs with a big knife, but then I remembered a tool I had found at a yard sale earlier in the summer.

I found a corn cob cutter slicer stripper knife (yah, I know it has a crazy long name) for 25 cents at a garage sale. This was the best 25 cents I've ever spent. within 15 minutes, I had a big pail of blanched corn off the cob. The cutter is designed to stand on the work surface and the operator cuts from top to bottom on the cob. But I found it was just as useful to hold the cutter in one hand and the cob in the other and sort of twist and wiggle it through the cutter.

I was so happy that I had to summon my friend who is staying with us from her room so she could come to the kitchen and see my glee. At the moment, I may or may not have been somewhat delirious from sleep deprivation (this was the evening of a very long day). However, she let me do my happy dance and saved judgment of my sanity for her own thoughts.

Have you have had a moment like that where a little practical thing or a great bargain just made your day? Celebrate the little things! If you overlook even a small celebration, you might overlook a moment of happiness in the middle of life's craziness.

Glancing Back into the Segregated 60's with "The Help"

Being a product of the late 60's but having no memories of the culture until the 70's when I entered grade school, I thought I'd get a dose of culture by going to see The Help last weekend. I had just finished listening to the audio book, and I just had to see the movie.

I don't read very many books from the secular market, but this one revealed so much about American thought just 50 years ago. So much has changed and yet, so much has stayed the same. Book or movie, this is an eye-opener for anyone too young to actually remember the civil rights movement of the middle of last century. Now, I didn't grow up in the segregate south, and my mother didn't have a maid, but some of the segregated attitudes existed in people in my own community.

The Help demonstrates the depth of irony in America in the 60's. White women in their country club societies forced their black maids to use a different bathroom because they "had diseases", yet these same women lovingly cared for sweet little children who hung on their necks all day. These were the women who nursed fevers and potty trained toddlers. These were the women who raised the children while their mothers played bridge with their friends.

Ironically, these housewives raised money for starving children in Africa while the children of their own maids ate what their mothers could afford on shamefully slim wages. Ironically, these women called themselves Christians, but didn't act like Jesus.

It breaks my heart to see how a person can be forced to enter by the back door, ride in the back of a bus, and shop in a different grocery store simply because of skin color. It blows my mind that the white grocery stores would have the good produce and the black grocery stores would have the overripe cast-offs. 

It breaks my heart that women with different colors of skin couldn't be friends except for in secret or that light-skinned black children could be taken from their mothers and sent to orphanges because they'd be out of place in either black or white society. It enrages me to think of how many of those pregnancies occurred against the will of the mother in the first place.

I wonder if I could have been as brave as Skeeter Phelan (a main character from the story) with my writing. Could I have been the voice to expose the injustice? Could I have given up the only man I'd ever loved because he couldn't be affiliated with my work?

I said earlier that our country has changed a lot. But so much is still the same. I know that there were many privileged women who grew up in the south who followed the norms of culture simply because it was expected of them. There were some who knew what was happening was wrong, but they didn't have the courage to speak up and make a change.

It's a different era. We have different issues. But we have injustice in our culture just the same. Are we going to be like the women of the south and keep silent when we know something is wrong? Or will be be courageous and speak out against that which we know is wrong? We're faced with the same choice as Skeeter Phelan.What will we do?

A side note: I liked the movie because it left out a couple of incidents from the book that I didn't think were really needed to illustrate the culture. I liked the book because it didn't wrap up quite as neatly as the movie, and it had a more real feel to it. So, you see, I can't decide which is better. If you decide to do either, be aware that there is some swearing in both the movie.